I'm officially out of sorts....

I took a nap this afternoon since I got up at 5:30 and stitched, thinking it would help my mood in the shop tonight. Well guess what it didn't work. It's slow for Friday so you would think I'd be able to relax and enjoy my stitching...but no....first of all I've had an idiot in here for 1/2 hr. talking on her phone and I can relay the entire conversation for you. She is apparently buying a home and is talking to a friend who she is explaining the entire deal to including the fact that she's taking someone with her to purchase it so they can't pull any fast ones on her. 1/2 hour people..why the hell is she in here to begin with....the reception isn't that good...talk outside for God's sake...I don't give a damn. God, if I only had Vernon's stun gun..... Then at the same time...I have Ms. Indecision at the counter as she tells me all about her Vera Bradley collection. As you well know I'm going out of Vera so I don't give a damn about her collection either. I'm over Vera...O.K...over and done! But the worse part is she can't make up her mind which Travelers Case to buy, Windsor Blue, which she already has 3 pieces of given to her by her daughter and co-workers, or the Mesa Red which her co-worker has and she likes it to, but everything she has is blue...etc., etc.,etc.,etc. I don't know how she got to this age without being able to make a decision. She called her niece to get her opinion (and told her she was in the shop below 5th street...hello...I'm between 8th & 9th lady!) I'm telling you if this bitch doesn't get off her phone I'm going to take it and hit her over the head with it. Honestly, and she is continually milling around the front counter the entire time so I can't miss one friggin word of her conversation. Jeez people, give the rest of us a break with the cell phones. Oh, for God's sake, she was about to get off and the idiot on the other end of the line started asking her about the layout so now she's describing it room by room...Good Golly, I might have to jump over this counter and you know I'm going to hurt myself doing it. Oh, wait a minute her daughter just beeped in...perhaps we'll hear all about her next. No, she actually hung up and didn't take the other call. Now she's running me around the shop...which I prefer to cell phone calls. Well as she was checking out she informed me that she has moved to Ocean Pines where she is signing the paper work on her new house this weekend. So she will now be a local...I'm mixed on this. I must inform her of cell phone etiquette while in Ocean City. The shop is once again quiet and I am at peace with the world. I forgot to tell you Ms Indecision finally, after getting her niece's opinion, settled on the Windsor Blue (I knew you couldn't rest until you found this out) and as she is leaving she thought it was approxiate to let me know she had shrimp for dinner at Shennagians and now she was having stomach cramps..but she was going to get a ginger ale and felt that would settle it down. Never once did I enter into any dialogue with this woman and yet I now know her medical issues. Do you see what I mean...I can't stop some of these people...they just have to let me know whatever they are thinking. Oh, for God's sake...another person who was minding her own business saw me typing and commented on how fast I was and wondered what I was working on. I explained about the blog and she then went on to talk computers with herself since I'm not listening at all, but the gist of it was she's on computers all day so she refuses to do anything with computers in her off time. Her daughter uses Vista and she hates Vista...even when I said I don't have Vista and had never used it that didn't stop her...she rambled on and on. Now her obnoxious children are in the store and she's screaming at them...Good Lord, where are the High School Seniors...at least they didn't even come in my store. Is it possible I'm too old to work here anymore? Well, what the hell is going on...is there a full moon or what? I'm minding my own business working on the blog when I hear "will you sew my dog an outfit?" I turn around and there standing beside the counter is a man who seriously is asking if I will make his dog, a Yorkie who seems to have ears that stand up, a superman cape and mask. HELLO...what part of this store looks like a fabric shop. I just said "NO" and turned back around, but did that stop him...no, he continued to walk around the counter to get in my face and continue talking. HELP...I've apparently entered the Twilight Zone and wasn't aware. And we have another cell phone caller. Shoot me, shoot me now, Please!!!! OK., I played a couple of computer games, I think I'm going to make it, but the woman talking about her cramps has given the idea to me...I think I'm cramping too...I need to find a 7 UP and rest. Where is Sara when I need her. Oh, the power of suggestion...I'm starting to envision the Yorkie's superman costume..oh, oh, before I know it I'll be stitching one up....God help Me! Good Lord, while my shop is annoyance free, there is a troop of kids next door in Sea Trader that apparently have no parents who have brain cells working and are letting these children aged from about 3-8 pick everything up to look at it. No doubt breakage will occur which of course they won't take responsibility for...while we don't hold them responsible it is always nice to have them offer...which doesn't always occur. God...I hope they don't come over here. Well of course they did...thankfully Sara showed up and she handled it. I'm out of here and going home to have a good stiff drink...booze only nothing to mix it with, I'm getting drunk out of my gourd and pray for a better tomorrow.

If it doesn't fit...for God's sake don't wear it....

Perhaps we feel it's not best to check the mirror, but ladies and gentlemen...some of us need to. Now I won't even venture out in a bathing suit, in fact the only time I've even put one on was when we went to St. John's for Mary's wedding and I rented a Villa with a private pool...that way the only people who were subjected to that unGodly site was my family and since I was paying for the entire shabang...well, that was the price they had to pay. But yesterday Mary needed to get some work done in the office so I volunteered to take Solomon for a walk (it was around lunch time and I figured I'd walk him to 3rd street for a slice of pizza....there's got to be food involved for me to walk)...anyway, as we walked down the boardwalk I was subjected to the sight of several of my fellow women who just embarrassed themselves by putting on bathing suits which, yes you will get more of a tan wearing it, but for God's sake, a roll was coming over the front, the sides and the back. That, ladies, is not a good look. I have to wonder...did you look in the mirror? But let's be honest, when you are huffing and puffing as you pull this on do you not look down and notice you can't see the top of the bathing suit? I can't get over it. I expect young girls to wear bikinis when clearly some of them shouldn't, but older women (by older I mean 21 and over)...at 21 you can judge fairly if you allow yourself...look in the mirror and don't see what you want to see...see what I see as I walk toward you. There are many one piece suits that hide our many flaws (when I say our I mean you since nothing but a tent can hide mine)..and we need to acknowledge that we aren't perfect, and embrace what there is out there for us to wear. No one looks great in a suit that obviously too small...no one. So the next time you put on your bathing suit...take a reality check...look in the mirror and judge what you see. And don't hold in your stomach because we all know you can't keep that up for hours on the beach. Get a gorgeous one piece and let the good times roll, people may stare at you in a one piece but it will because you look attractive not because you look like you are wearing your younger sister's cloths. And men, don't you snicker because you are no better. We're not even going to discuss speedo's, no sir, banana hammocks, ball huggers, call them what you will but no one and I do mean no one looks good in them...they are unforgiving and only lifeguards should wear them (and I question that..but it seems to be policy). As for the board shorts, those I like and I realize that sometimes your stomach may hang over the top (cause my little Michael's hangs over so I know it happens when the suit is the right size), but that's when I believe a t-shirt is in order on the boardwalk. On the beach..well you can be forgiven on the beach..but walking around the boardwalk...cover it baby, just cover it. It's a mystery to me that it's alright for men's stomach's to hang over their pants, but a woman isn't forgiven for a 5 lb weight gain. But that's life I suppose. (I wish mine was a matter of 5 lbs). I don't think I know one woman who isn't seriously dieting 24/7...which doesn't mean they are doing a great job of it, but at least thinking about it. I don't know one man who is dieting...not one! Life is certainly strange...but I am enjoying the ride. The humidity level has gone up so of course I'm forced into the a/c. But the guests in Ocean City have had wonderful beach weather. We had an unbelievable storm the other night but after 10:30 p.m. so it didn't affect the beach goers. The shops are now open until 9:45 p.m., since I work at night I determine when I close and some nights I just can't make it until 10:00 pm so I close a little early, but I really do try to stay until 10:00 p.m. Last night we were short a girl so I had Michael take over Sea Trader...he was so cute working that shop and as long as he was watching everyone I was able to handle Salty Yarns...in the end the stress made me sick so Sara took over at 9:15 and went over to the front desk and sat. The stress was not only limited to Michael being at the register in Sea Trader, but UPS delivered 2 large cartons with 2 new racks and all the display "stuff" to fill the racks right after Pat W. left which meant I had to handle setting up the racks (no easy chore with no space left to put anything), but I got it placed, and most of the "stuff" priced and on the rack...but of course I didn't finish because I was pooped. I'm now in the shop and I have to tell you....some people are just born idiots and shall remain that way apparently until they die. And my tolerance for fools seems to be lessening. I had a woman in tonight who I could just sense was going to be the 60 question lady (and I use that term loosely)...however, she wasn't the first to do this so there seems to be a lot of them out there. She sees the Sun Reader rack (these are magnifying sunglasses) and she says, "what's that mean"...now people...they are sun glasses...what the hell do you think that means. But I simply gave her the look (around 9:00 p.m. I get that don't bother me with stupid questions look and while I answer the question I try to ward them off from asking me another...apparently her eyes were so bad she didn't notice.) and so I simply said, "They are magnifying glasses for the sun" to which she announced she wears reading glasses. So then she wants to see what strength she should wear...so she starts pulling them out of their cases and trying them on and trying to read...and it was one question after another like this..."do they go up or down" {what the hell was she talking about} and since the question made no sense I said I didn't know. Well she just one on and on shooting one stupid question that made no sense after another and I decided to ignore her at this point....until she reads the instructions for holding the chart they supply to determine the strength you need...she reads 14 inches and holds the card out with her arm fully extended. She is not the first to do this...and it so aggravates me for some reason I always have the same response..."Is that where you would hold a book to read it? Because these are reading glasses so you would hold the card the same distance away from you that you would hold a book to read." Why is that concept so difficult? The other night a woman was holding the card almost 1 yard away from you...straight out...and I finally asked her the same question. They are always shocked they didn't think of it. Anyway, after trying on several strengths tonight the woman decided she needed to go to the eye doctors and get her eyes checked (and now I might start charging a referrel fee.) And that folks was how my night went. But there were some bright spots in the shop today. We had some serious stitchers in and they are always a welcome sight and some old friends down for their usual week each summer and they were great to see again. I'm not sure why my patience is so thin...oh, I have to tell you one of the Russian girls here for the summer is getting married 2 weeks after getting back to Russia in September. (can you imagine...well wait until I tell you the rest)...anyway, Vernon (who orders everything from ebay) got a package today so I handed it to Sara, who informed me that the package from China was actually for the Russian Student it was her wedding dress. Meanwhile the package was about 15" x 20" tops, if that big...it was bulging but it wasn't that big. Then Sara tells me it cost $20.00, yes $20. The shipping was $140 so she spent a total of $160 on her dress. I told Sara to tell her we wanted to see the dress so when she came in to clock out Sara told her we wanted to see her in her dress. She went right over and put it on and you would not believe this dress. It was a little large, and I do mean a minor amount, and it had a bodice with pearl beads and a train and it was really a nice looking dress. I really couldn't get over it. There was a certain aspect that wasn't my cup of tea...how the one side was drawn up in a decorative lace piece, but frankly for $20...and it wasn't cheap looking either. I am still trying to get over this...$20. Sara and I were more worried about the wrinkles, which really weren't that bad either...but they will take care of that when they get back to Russia. Anyone wanting to get married...I'll find out what sweat shop this came out of in China and get the ebay address for you. $20...I never in my whole life. And shipping cost more than the dress. I wish I had my camera so you could see it...because I swear to you it was a pretty dress. Oh, well, I'm going home and turn up my a/c.
Have a great night and a great time until I talk to you again...weekend coming up means new people...oh, my what will stroll through the shop tomorrow night. Always a new adventure

They Just Get Dumber.....

What I'm about to tell you is typical down here in the summer...today Vernon went up to 10th street to speak with my next door neighbor and while standing on his porch talking and observing 2 guys who continually rode by them on a bike...(One riding on the handlebars)..they noticed them go into the side parking lot between my place and Mikes and when the bike came back out there was only one person on it. So Mike leaned over the porch to see where the other kid went and he was on Vernon's bike. So Mike said to Vernon, "Vernon, that kid is stealing your bike." Now wouldn't you know Vernon didn't have his new stun gun with him so he had to vault over the railing and grab the kid on his own. Meanwhile his back up, Mike, never left the porch. Anyway, the theft was averted but can you believe in broad daylight, right beside the house where 2 people are standing this little yutz would try something like that. I'm telling you, if brains were dynamite, these kids wouldn't have enough to blow themselves up. Bikes down here are stolen on a daily basis and what's worse, they just abandon them at some point, usually behind our building no less. Vernon says he finds about 10 bikes a summer leaning against our little "doll house". Anyway, we've made it to another weekend. Always cause for celebration. And this is our last week of high school seniors...Hip Hip Hooray!!!!! Now that is cause for celebration. I thought I'd try to stitch in the shop tonight while I work...since I'm blogging you can see how well that is working. I know I should be ticketing merchandise and getting inventory in the computer...Poor Pat and Connie worked like dogs today and could barely pack up to go home but fear I might ask them to do one more thing spurred them on. Pat is trying to move items from one storeroom into the other storeroom and an 8 foot ladder is involved in the 2nd storeroom, so she's about dead by the time she leaves. And poor Connie was trying to help with that and clean up the Vera Bradley section...no one is sad to see Vera go...it's too labor intensive. Sometimes I felt like I was working at the Gap...you know you fit the shelves up and all the bags were lined up perfectly and then someone comes along, pulls one out and ruins the line of the shelf. I was not made to keep putting the same handles in the same purses and straightening up the same purses 6 times a day (Like I really did it that much...but you get my drift). I don't clean up my house as much as I had to clean up the Vera area...in fact I blame the Vera area for my not cleaning my house...oh, oh, I seem a problem up ahead...I've got to find something to blame my "not cleaning" at home on....ummmm, I'm going to start working on this problem tonight. Weather Report: It has been so beautiful down here...sun shining, breeze blowing, I'm living in a false reality..at least that's how it feels. If it weren't for the seniors this would be Paradise....another week and it will be. I can't wait. However, I understand the humidity is about to make a return so that won't be so great for me. But, it's still gorgeous, not that I get to see a lot of it. During the day I'm in the office in air conditioning although I can see sunshine out the window but basically I face a wall and a desk piled with "crap" (or bills depending which side of the payment you are on.) Pat E. was just in...her son is here for a soccer game so the whole family came down and Pat was able to sneak away to come see us and of course, add to her stash. It's always so nice to see our stitching friends and catch up on the news. This blog has sat here for 3 days and now it's Tuesday and I still haven't published it. Not much going on down here, except the weather is gorgeous. Some folks told me it wasn't so hot on the beach a couple of days ago, but the sun is shining. I took Solomon for a walk to the post office and it was lovely. The breeze is delightful...but last night we had hail and rain...hail...in the summer, have you ever? I had just gotten home when it started and it sure did cool things off. I'm still sleeping without a/c....I hate a/c, but for me it's a necessary evil. It's getting busier...staying open now until 10:00 p.m., or really I should say until 9:45 p.m., because I'm tired and by 9:45 I've put up with about all I can take. You know I love my shop, but some nights they run me ragged, and I'm not just talking about customers, I'm talking about the foreign students working for me. Boy howdy, each year I've been lucky enough to get Polish students in Sea Trader, and I have to say they are the hardest workers and best workers I've ever had. This year I wasn't so lucky...not only does the student this year barely speak English, but her understanding of the language isn't that great. So anytime I say something to her she just looks at me, tilts her head a little, get's a look on her face of non-comprehension and I end up doing whatever it is I wanted her to do myself. (perhaps she's not so dumb)...anyway, my new tactic is to get Sara to act as the translator. We'll see how long this lasts. Anyway, I want to get this post off...so have a great day and a great night and I'll talk to you soon.

I'm officially no longer capable....

We have had 2 days this week where we have no one scheduled (how does this happen) for the upstairs so I end up watching (not too well I might add) both stores. The other night Sea Trader got too busy and I had to call for reinforcements, but tonight doesn't seem too busy right now so I'm multi-tasking once again...working 2 stores and blogging...my, my, I am busy. Anyway, I found another thing I hate...People who walk in a room and start screaming, yes screaming for help. The man walked into Sea Trader while I am sitting at the register in Salty Yarns pricing new merchandise (which is beginning to swamp Poor Pat)...and he takes one step in Sea Trader, does wait a moment at the register, just starts screaming "Is anyone here"...which clearly there was since there were about 10 people in the store. So I calmly say, "I'm right here." And he begins...he wants to know where there is a wheel chair rental place (if you are coming to walk the boardwalk...and you have a handicapped person with you...for God's sake bring a wheelchair or scooter with you). I explained that the only rental place closes at 5:00 p.m., so right now there was no where, especially on the boardwalk. He informs me that he has been told that Mike's Bikes rents wheelchairs (so why the hell are you asking me...another bitch of mine don't ask 50 people the same question). I said, "Well, perhaps they didn't realize that Mike is no longer in business." He said, "Well what is there now?" And I said, nothing. So he asks for the phone book so he can call Mike's Bikes...and I gladly gave it to him. Then his wife comes in and he says, "We can get one at Mike's Bikes." Apparently he didn't trust what I had to say at all..lucky for me that ended the discussion and he and his loud mouth were out of here. At first he did ask about the bike rental out front. He didn't really comprehend the fact that they are open from 6:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m. and no bikes are allowed on the boardwalk after 10 a.m. Too much information for him. I don't know why he wasn't clued in by the fact that there isn't a bike on the boardwalk at this hour. Oh, well...it takes all kinds, and they usually find their way into Salty Yarns. If this guy is the worst that I have to contend with tonight I'll count myself lucky. I do have to tell you today was off to a good start as the mailman brought me another birthday surprise. Our Joyce, one of the founding members of our Stitch 'n Bitch club was unable for health reasons to come to my birthday party and yet, she still sent a gift, and a wonderful gift as well. She stitched a gorgeous needleroll for me. As soon as I get my camera back up here I'm going to take pictures of all my goodies and show them to you...it's going to be exciting for you I just know it. In the meantime, I'm closing because people are now just doing the lap. They walk in...walk once around the store and walk out....that's a lap. They really have no idea what they are walking into, they just walk in and out of every single store. Can you imagine doing that? I look at a store's window to see if I'm interested, but I never just go in and out of every store...that's really quite time consuming. So anyway, I've stayed long enough..I've been at work since 8:30 a.m. and it's now 9:35 p.m. So I'm going to say so long folks...have a great night and I'll catch you tomorrow.

Firemen's Parade...4 hours of firetrucks...oh, my!

Yes today is our annual firemen's parade, complete with approx. 4 hours of firetrucks...and yet I haven't seen so much as one of them...I had to work Sea Trader today. While I sat in the wonderful air-conditioning I didn't regret it at all. I have to say this week with the high school seniors has been relatively calm...I said relatively because we still know they are there by the amount of trash they have thrown on our parking lot...they seem to have endless sums of money for the necessities of Senior life...beer and alcohol. However, I've gone home each night without my usual drama in the alley and I had my windows open last night and wasn't kept up all night by their yelling and screaming. Since this is the last of the worst weeks (next week is always a milder Senior week) I am counting my blessings. However, today brought me back to the reality of families in town. The grandmothers and mothers who bring their children in with the famous, "Don't touch anything" only to go one way while their little rugrats go the other way playing with things as they go. Nothing is ever returned to the place where they found it and some gets broken along the way...yes, I remember this well now...the memory was clouded last week when I was dealing with seniors. I'll still take the kids over seniors, although the kids now playing with the JABCO buttons may not make it to their senior year if the mother doesn't get them out of here soon. And the phones...oh my God...could people be any ruder? And the ring tones, honestly it's driving me crazy. I've got spa music on to calm my nerves and one of those damn tones starting rocking the house...and you know I just want to get up and "Boogie". But then I want to bitch slap the woman and tell her she can answer that thing outside where I don't have to participate...but then I spy some kid braiding the Gentle Arts Threads and I'm off and running forgetting to bitch slap as I fly by to nab this little pain in my butt. Why do they feel the need to braid these damn threads....it drives me nuts! Oh, yes, the spa music...let me go back to the quiet..ooops they are over in the Vera Bradley bags raising hell...a Vera sale always get's them crazy and I should just wear blinders and ear plugs...that could work...I'll be at Walmart tomorrow trying to find them. In the meantime I have to get through tonight..no easy chore. Why does it take women 1 hour to make up their mind on a purse. These person has been in the store holding the same Vera Backpack asking the same 2 people with her what she should do. They have both taken bathroom breaks, smoke breaks, I think one went to eat at the Alaska Stand and are still telling her the same thing they told her 1 hour ago..."We like it...it looks good on you (what?)...we think you ought to get it." And she's still asking 1 hr later...oh, my God...either buy it or put it down but stop boring us with your whining. (Being able to blog in the shop is definitely a mistake. Now I'm going to bore you the way they are boring me.) O.K., she left the shop with no Vera only to return 10 minutes later walk over grab her Vera come to the register where her friends told her she didn't like the bag! And the saga continues. Oh, but the way...today it was Paradise down here. The excessive heat is gone and we are left with warm weather, bright sun shining, water glistening, and a slight breeze coming off the ocean. I slept with no a/c last night and I even had a quilt (Mary's quilt) over my legs to keep the chill off. (It dropped to around 63 degrees)...and it was wonderful. Paradise people, just paradise. Anyway, I've finally made it to 9:45 p.m. and I'm closing to save my sanity. Have a great night and I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Good God, They are seriously going to drive me nuts.....

A rather nice looking woman just came in and starts instantly telling me how she hasn't done this in years and doesn't think she can do it, but she just loves....yadda yadda yadda...and I was paying very little attention as I'm trying to get pricing stickers done for Renee tomorrow and get inventory in...but I'm answering her questions...while many made no sense to me...for instance..."Is the color they show the color of the background." Huh? She was looking at Lavender & Lace charts and kept telling me it wasn't stamped...I said once, "there is nothing in there but a chart and it is stamped...and she ignored that and said once again, "these aren't stamped" and again, now looking at her like...duh, what the hell are you talking about...and again I said, there is nothing in that package but a chart...there is no fabric at all, just a chart and trust me it is stamped. Then she comes over to the counter to tell me how brilliant an idea it was to put fabric over the backboard and attach the picture on top of that. That was a 5 minute discussion (yes I agree it was genius)...and then I look up and she has one of those roaches in her ear...(the blue tooth things)...now stitchers I have to ask...do you think that looks right? It always look like a bug is crawling out of their ear and in her case her hair or ear. Down the road I swear they are going to find that those things give you cancer. Stop using them all the time, or at all. We've become too dependent on phones, cell and otherwise, but especially cell. When I was growing up the first phone we had was a party line. Many probably don't know what that is, but two families would have the same number. And if you stayed on too long the other person might want to make a call and they would just get on the line and tell you to hang up as they wanted to make a call. I can't understand people who call and stay on a phone. I know kids seem to be under the impression that they have to have it attached to their ear 24/7, but do we all? As many of you already know the cell phone for me is for me to call others if an emergency occurs...and it never does. I seldom answer my phone unless it's my children or the shops. I got rid of my land line (well, that was because Verizon pissed me off for the hundredth time, but I haven't missed it.) Anyway, we need to be less dependent on these things and go back the way it was. Honestly, do you really need your phone in church, and yet we've all had one go off while a sermon is going on. I remember once, Mary called me during church and I opened the phone, said not a word, but let her listen to the minister's sermon...believe me it was the last time she ever called me on Sunday morning...she also hung up when she realized what she was listening to. I forgot I had the damn phone on me. Now I leave it in the car...where it sits for days until one of the girls asks if I've lost it. Then the hunt begins....Wow...a weather system has just arrived, thunder...lightning...and everyone rushing off the boardwalk...and into the store just to get out of the rain. So now I've got wet floors and people just milling around...not a good day for my nerves. I'm fighting to be pleasant...customer service...smile...customer service...oh, crap..I'm closing. See you tomorrow...hopefully I'll have an upswing in moods. In the meantime.. have a great evening...great day...and keep those needles moving...which reminds me, I've got to get going on my stuff since I've taken new projects home every night that I've worked....the Shepherd's Bush "Scatter Freedom" is just too cute to leave here. It's jumping ahead in the pile.