I'm bored to death.....

Yes, I'm in the shop (hooray, I can blog while I work...multi tasking at it's best)...anyway, I forgot to tell you today about my night from hell...last night. It's not enough we have the tension from the little high school know it all's, last night I had to deal with the dumbest, yes, if you thought it was you ... you are safe, because the dumbest woman alive was in the shop last night. Now, I've always said there are no dumb questions...well, she proved me wrong! And did she pick the wrong night to do it. I was sitting here wondering what I was doing sitting here, when she walked in with her painted nails, suntan lotioned bikini top wearing, self and started yapping right away about absolutely nothing. I tried to hide behind the counter, but nooooo, that wasn't good enough she hunted me out. Rather she went to the Russian girl working in Sea Trader fresh off the board and as my mother would say, she's as green as a gourd. Anyway, she can barely speak or understand English (yea, I can't tell you how helpful she's been) so anytime anyone asks her anything she brings them to me. She comes carry a Pine Mountain pillow and asks how much. I knew instantly I was in trouble if the woman thought she could purchase a pillow already done. But I walked over and explained that the finished pillow was a sample of what she could make, but we didn't sell prefinished items. She looks at me and says, "What do you mean?" Now I thought that I had made it perfectly clear, but again I said, "We don't sell the models...you have to make it yourself." Now the kits are sitting in front, yes in front you actually have to move the kits to get to the model, and so she then says, "Well how do you do that?" By now I'm over and beyond helping this idiot. But not to appear too rude I said, "You have to purchase one of the kits, open it up, take the material out, and stitch it." To which she says, "Well how do you do that...what do you mean stitch it...what am I stitching." At that point I shut down and prayed for Sara to appear so I could sic this lady on her. (when I'm sick of someone I will throw anyone under the bus, even if it's my own child to get away.) But Sara was a no show...so I tried to just walk away for fear I would find a rifle and kill this idiot. But she wasn't about to let me go...no...she proceeded to a linen finished piece on the wall..."Where's this.." she asked. By now I was done...so I said, "Madame, you couldn't possibly do that piece." "What do you mean" she asked. So I said, "You need to start with a beginners kit." She says, "I don't want to." I could see that I was in a "pissing contest" so I just said, well you have to and sat down. But she wasn't done with me yet, she finds something in the back, brings it up and says, "How do you do this." I said, "The same way you do any counted work, but you will be unable to do it because you have to start with a beginner kit." To which she responded, "I don't want to, show me how to do this." I was so not interested in showing her anything so I said we were out of it so it would do no good to show her (we were actually out of it by the way, I even went and looked because she had almost broken me down.) She mumbled as she walked off saying she'd be back in a couple of weeks. I can hardly contain my excitement at that announcement! I no sooner get rid of her when a woman comes zooming in on her scooter....actually she zoomed into a rack in Sea Trader which is how I knew she was in the stores. Now if you've been in our stores you know there is no room for a scooter. Apparently she wasn't a good judge of space because she kept racing around regardless of the fact that she didn't fit. She'd bump the rack, the merchandise (breakable) would shake and she'd pause before backing out and trying another way. I'm telling you, I have the same scooter...you can't take them anywhere...and we are just not big enough. We get wheel chair people who we try to accommodate and usually they are wonderful..but scooter girl about did me in. And then apparently there is a new sport on the horizon, trying on every pair of sunglasses or readers I have and then making fun of each other. Oh, Lordy, Lordy, some woman just asked what the puzzle pieces were for. Another stitcher in the house...these are thread winders people...not puzzle pieces. Thank God I had Theresa O. in the house tonight because she's about the only sane person I've had in. Where oh where is Sara. She needs to take over before I get suicidal...or homicidal, I'm not which way I'm heading. We haven't got the stun gun yet because that may have to be used in here when I've had enough. I am so ready to "lock and load."