Thursday, June 26, 2008

If it doesn't fit...for God's sake don't wear it....

Perhaps we feel it's not best to check the mirror, but ladies and gentlemen...some of us need to. Now I won't even venture out in a bathing suit, in fact the only time I've even put one on was when we went to St. John's for Mary's wedding and I rented a Villa with a private pool...that way the only people who were subjected to that unGodly site was my family and since I was paying for the entire shabang...well, that was the price they had to pay. But yesterday Mary needed to get some work done in the office so I volunteered to take Solomon for a walk (it was around lunch time and I figured I'd walk him to 3rd street for a slice of pizza....there's got to be food involved for me to walk)...anyway, as we walked down the boardwalk I was subjected to the sight of several of my fellow women who just embarrassed themselves by putting on bathing suits which, yes you will get more of a tan wearing it, but for God's sake, a roll was coming over the front, the sides and the back. That, ladies, is not a good look. I have to wonder...did you look in the mirror? But let's be honest, when you are huffing and puffing as you pull this on do you not look down and notice you can't see the top of the bathing suit? I can't get over it. I expect young girls to wear bikinis when clearly some of them shouldn't, but older women (by older I mean 21 and over) 21 you can judge fairly if you allow yourself...look in the mirror and don't see what you want to see...see what I see as I walk toward you. There are many one piece suits that hide our many flaws (when I say our I mean you since nothing but a tent can hide mine)..and we need to acknowledge that we aren't perfect, and embrace what there is out there for us to wear. No one looks great in a suit that obviously too one. So the next time you put on your bathing suit...take a reality check...look in the mirror and judge what you see. And don't hold in your stomach because we all know you can't keep that up for hours on the beach. Get a gorgeous one piece and let the good times roll, people may stare at you in a one piece but it will because you look attractive not because you look like you are wearing your younger sister's cloths. And men, don't you snicker because you are no better. We're not even going to discuss speedo's, no sir, banana hammocks, ball huggers, call them what you will but no one and I do mean no one looks good in them...they are unforgiving and only lifeguards should wear them (and I question that..but it seems to be policy). As for the board shorts, those I like and I realize that sometimes your stomach may hang over the top (cause my little Michael's hangs over so I know it happens when the suit is the right size), but that's when I believe a t-shirt is in order on the boardwalk. On the beach..well you can be forgiven on the beach..but walking around the boardwalk...cover it baby, just cover it. It's a mystery to me that it's alright for men's stomach's to hang over their pants, but a woman isn't forgiven for a 5 lb weight gain. But that's life I suppose. (I wish mine was a matter of 5 lbs). I don't think I know one woman who isn't seriously dieting 24/7...which doesn't mean they are doing a great job of it, but at least thinking about it. I don't know one man who is dieting...not one! Life is certainly strange...but I am enjoying the ride. The humidity level has gone up so of course I'm forced into the a/c. But the guests in Ocean City have had wonderful beach weather. We had an unbelievable storm the other night but after 10:30 p.m. so it didn't affect the beach goers. The shops are now open until 9:45 p.m., since I work at night I determine when I close and some nights I just can't make it until 10:00 pm so I close a little early, but I really do try to stay until 10:00 p.m. Last night we were short a girl so I had Michael take over Sea Trader...he was so cute working that shop and as long as he was watching everyone I was able to handle Salty the end the stress made me sick so Sara took over at 9:15 and went over to the front desk and sat. The stress was not only limited to Michael being at the register in Sea Trader, but UPS delivered 2 large cartons with 2 new racks and all the display "stuff" to fill the racks right after Pat W. left which meant I had to handle setting up the racks (no easy chore with no space left to put anything), but I got it placed, and most of the "stuff" priced and on the rack...but of course I didn't finish because I was pooped. I'm now in the shop and I have to tell you....some people are just born idiots and shall remain that way apparently until they die. And my tolerance for fools seems to be lessening. I had a woman in tonight who I could just sense was going to be the 60 question lady (and I use that term loosely)...however, she wasn't the first to do this so there seems to be a lot of them out there. She sees the Sun Reader rack (these are magnifying sunglasses) and she says, "what's that mean" people...they are sun glasses...what the hell do you think that means. But I simply gave her the look (around 9:00 p.m. I get that don't bother me with stupid questions look and while I answer the question I try to ward them off from asking me another...apparently her eyes were so bad she didn't notice.) and so I simply said, "They are magnifying glasses for the sun" to which she announced she wears reading glasses. So then she wants to see what strength she should she starts pulling them out of their cases and trying them on and trying to read...and it was one question after another like this..."do they go up or down" {what the hell was she talking about} and since the question made no sense I said I didn't know. Well she just one on and on shooting one stupid question that made no sense after another and I decided to ignore her at this point....until she reads the instructions for holding the chart they supply to determine the strength you need...she reads 14 inches and holds the card out with her arm fully extended. She is not the first to do this...and it so aggravates me for some reason I always have the same response..."Is that where you would hold a book to read it? Because these are reading glasses so you would hold the card the same distance away from you that you would hold a book to read." Why is that concept so difficult? The other night a woman was holding the card almost 1 yard away from you...straight out...and I finally asked her the same question. They are always shocked they didn't think of it. Anyway, after trying on several strengths tonight the woman decided she needed to go to the eye doctors and get her eyes checked (and now I might start charging a referrel fee.) And that folks was how my night went. But there were some bright spots in the shop today. We had some serious stitchers in and they are always a welcome sight and some old friends down for their usual week each summer and they were great to see again. I'm not sure why my patience is so thin...oh, I have to tell you one of the Russian girls here for the summer is getting married 2 weeks after getting back to Russia in September. (can you imagine...well wait until I tell you the rest)...anyway, Vernon (who orders everything from ebay) got a package today so I handed it to Sara, who informed me that the package from China was actually for the Russian Student it was her wedding dress. Meanwhile the package was about 15" x 20" tops, if that was bulging but it wasn't that big. Then Sara tells me it cost $20.00, yes $20. The shipping was $140 so she spent a total of $160 on her dress. I told Sara to tell her we wanted to see the dress so when she came in to clock out Sara told her we wanted to see her in her dress. She went right over and put it on and you would not believe this dress. It was a little large, and I do mean a minor amount, and it had a bodice with pearl beads and a train and it was really a nice looking dress. I really couldn't get over it. There was a certain aspect that wasn't my cup of the one side was drawn up in a decorative lace piece, but frankly for $20...and it wasn't cheap looking either. I am still trying to get over this...$20. Sara and I were more worried about the wrinkles, which really weren't that bad either...but they will take care of that when they get back to Russia. Anyone wanting to get married...I'll find out what sweat shop this came out of in China and get the ebay address for you. $20...I never in my whole life. And shipping cost more than the dress. I wish I had my camera so you could see it...because I swear to you it was a pretty dress. Oh, well, I'm going home and turn up my a/c.
Have a great night and a great time until I talk to you again...weekend coming up means new people...oh, my what will stroll through the shop tomorrow night. Always a new adventure

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