Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Those Housewives are a red hot mess!

My God, this has become my favorite passtime tracking those idiot Housewives. These women are so delusional that they actually think everyone aspires to be just like them. I watch to make sure I'm nothing like them, and if I see a trait I recognize in myself, well, folks, I'm going to make sure that trait is never seen again. The worst offenders in my opinion are Alex and Simon from the New York Housewives. Why these two don't move to Europe and get out of our lives I do not know...since they seem to think anything French is golden. Last night we were once again treated to the sight of Simon in a speedo (God help us all I almost stuck a knife in my eyes)...why this man thinks he should wear such a thing is beyond me, but in this case he goes on about what prudes we are in the U.S. and therefore he would have to put on board shorts...but if you weren't watching...he strips down to his speedo on the beach and then puts the shorts on. So we still had to see him in speedos (oh, my...not a good look). Board Shorts are just that...shorts for the water. Most men walk around in board shorts if they are going to the beach...perfectly acceptable...but no not this idiot...he wears shorts to the beach, takes them off and then puts on board shorts. All to show us his pasty white muscleless body. Simon...feel it's my civic duty to tell you that you need to keep your clothes on at all times as your body is less than ideal. You know, while I realize men wear speedos in Europe without a second thought and no one seems to notice, but when in "Rome do as the Romans" and so while in the states, you need to keep the old banana hammock in the drawer. In Ocean City our lifeguards were required to wear red speedo's and I'm telling you none of them wore them past the stand or in the water. They always put board shorts on over them the minute they walked away from the lifeguard stand...and these guys are tanned, muscular, and most of them incredibly attractive. So, Simon even they can't carry off speedo's so why do you think you can? And since he and Alex only care about status...well, they are never going to make it anyway into wear whatever and let us make fun of you. That keeps me occupied and off the streets. While Alex always wears a bikini, this pretentious jackass prances around like a show horse....and yet she's unattractive and rail thin. Her hair is always uncoifed, her makeup is bad, and her taste sucks. While I hate to agree with Ramona...these 2 are creepy. It's a good thing they are so hung up on each other because I don't think anyone else could stand them. And then we have the countess who said last week she didn't like people who thought they were better than everyone else...and yet if you forget to put Countess in front of her name she has a hissy fit. Last night she attended a Cancer Benefit in which she and her husband were honored and she had a fit because she didn't hear the hostess announce her as Countess LouAnn Delasup or whatever the hell her name is. Meanwhile she was so busy talking she didn't hear the woman announce her as Countess, like anyone else gives a damn. So then she goes up on stage and tells everyone else to shut up so they could hear that she is a countess. I mean people...what the hell is wrong with these people. I know some people who are fairly full of themselves, but in my small burg I have never met anyone like these people....I started to say ladies, but I'm pretty sure they aren't. I'm starting to like Jill, simply because she knows she's full of shit and says what she means, regardless of who gets in the way. I can appreciate honesty. While Ramona rages on about Alex and Simon, she looks like she's had a little too much work done and her eyes look like a deer caught in headlights....maybe if these women bothered to age gracefully they wouldn't have that appearance...but that isn't going to happen with Ramona. She's going to nip, tuck and suck until her family won't recognize. So I had 2 full hours to watch of these housewives and got more stitching done on the Heart's Content clamp pin cushion. Each time I pick it up my stomach does a little flip and my shoulders tighten up and my hand cramps, but after stitching for a few minutes I lighten up and I'm thrilled with what I'm getting done. I am on track...but I have to work on #6 stocking too before the end of the week...O.K., pressure is mounting. I can do it, I can do it. Got up this morning to temps in the 20's...crap it's too damn cold. But a promise of rising temps to the 50's is encouraging. When does spring start? I need at least 60's to feel human again, although tucked away in my little NR/Office is very comfortable. Well, I've got to get ready to go to the away from home I'll sign off. Have a great day...remember tonight it's Top Chef finale...oh, my this will be fun. Talk to you later.

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