Thursday, August 7, 2008

It's been a while...It's too hot and humid to function

I know it's been a while since I last posted...I was tempted the other night. Sara came through the back way and when she opened the back door to come into the shop there was a man with his pants down doing God knows what in front of the door...she just kept walking, he zipped up and joined his wife as if nothing was unusual, and you know, it wasn't that unusual for us. Actually, we're saying he was adjusting himself....yea, that's our story and we're sticking to it. I know I've ranted about this before, but ladies, we need to keep these men in check. Pulling on your underwear to get it out of your crack is one thing...adjusting the balls and penis...well that's just not cool....in public...especially if I'm there. What do you say...men who do this usually act like no one can see it...yes, they feel there is an invisible shield in front of the crotch and no one can see them pushing and shoving...well, men...we can see the whole thing...the whole ugly thing...so for God's sake...stop doing it in front of us. It doesn't make us want to have sex with you, in fact it's such a turn off we may never have sex with you ever, not one time...so you need to go into the bathroom and do the work, or perhaps like this gentlemen go into a public place, try to hide and then do it...did I say gentlemen...oops my mistake, I meant asshole. Now...I've got to move on...Merry Cox has had to cancel her class here, we are sorry to say, due to a health problem she has encountered. We want everyone to keep Merry in their prayers and pray she has a speedy recovery with her issue and that once she's feeling better we may be able to get her back on the schedule. We got the 2008 Prairie Schooler Santa in yesterday so if you are interested in that...give us a call. Also the next section, finally, of the Big Zipper. Don't worry, if you asked us to hold one, we have and we're getting ready to ship them... O.K., it's now Friday afternoon, and it's glorious here in Ocean City...suns is shining, cooler air prevails..humidity gone, yes it's paradise except for one thing...apparently the latest fad for the Spanish speaking population and you know who you are...is to pee wherever it suits them and whenever it suits them. Daylight..doesn't matter...in the middle of a parking lot...they must not have a bathroom in Mexico and that is why these folks just decide to pee wherever they are standing...your parking lot, your yard, for God's sake I don't want to rent to them because if someone is using the bathroom in their room the rest of the group might decide to just pee in the room on the floor. Honestly, what the hell is wrong with these people. I don't mean to generalize, however, I haven't caught this many kids peeing on the property. It was 4:00 p.m., daylight, tenants roaming around, cars parking and this guy just decides to whip it out and pee where he was standing, unfortunately it was on our parking lot, which seems to be the latest urinal in Ocean City. Frankly I am sick and tired of this and the disrespect it shows. And when Vernon yelled at him he had the balls to say, "What? you have a problem?" Honest to God, if he had the stun gun that jack ass would have been electrocuted standing in his own pee...I'm just sorry the stun gun was in the office. I've told Vernon to start carrying it and throw all caution to the wind...just light them up. Clearly I've had it! With this being White Marlin week the town is packed and people are just nuts! Nuts I'm telling you! But I am mellowing, yes, I am. Last night our last (and she was last because when she walked out the door I told Sara to lock it behind her...I had enough)..anyway, this bimbo comes in with her husband, son and daughter. I could tell from what she was lecturing about to her family that she didn't have a clue what she was talking about, but I didn't care as long as she didn't involve me...but you know she just had to do that. She gets around to the other side of the counter where the Troll beads are and she and her daughter start hyperventilating over the beads and they couldn't pick them fast enough off the display. A little too fast if you asked me so I asked them if they had a Troll bead bracelet, and Bimbo looks at me, holds up her arms and points to her God awful dangling earrings and necklace and states, "I make my own jewelry." I see that you do, I said holding back my gag reflex. But I still couldn't believe she was going to purchase all that she was having us pull off the display...and the ones she wanted were at the end of the rod so we had to take every bead off and this went on for several rods and then she looks inside the display and says, "Oh, look at these...retired beads...FOR $42.00? Who would pay that." By this time the idiot that married her started paying attention and said, "How much are the beads she picked out." So I happily announced the beads were all $25 but the sterling silver beads ranged from $28 up. I thought he was going to have a stroke as he told her to put them all back. Now she comes around the counter and is standing inside the counter where we stand as if she is going to wait on someone. She couldn't imagine the beads were that expensive...she gets her beads a whole lot cheaper than that (and may I add it looks it.) So guess who had to put all the beads and charms back on their rods in the proper order...you guessed it...I did. She gives blonds a bad name...crap..this idiot gives women a bad name. You can look at the display and see you aren't looking at cheap beads...and the charms are heavy sterling silver...get a grip lady...pull you blond ditzy head out of your butt and join the rest of us in realityville. Anyway, got an e-mail from Kathy P. and she ordered the Sewing Chest of Nantucket Sister Sailor Sarah Elliot in July, and she has already completed the lid. Congratulations Kathy...this piece is quite an undertaking and you seem to be getting it done in short order. I, of course, have it at home and have yet to put the first stitch in. It was my favorite piece from Nashville this year. Love it! It is now Saturday evening and I still haven't posted this blog...I've been on it for days now....can't seem to hit publish. Pee Report: 4:00 p.m., broad daylight, in front of the world...in the parking lot. We always catch them at the end so they just look at us and walk away with Vernon and Sara screaming until they are blue in the face. So I need a favor...will someone please go into the Spanish district in Washington and some take on Baltimore and pull down whatever sign or banner is telling these folks to come to the Lankford if they have to urinate, and just pee in our parking lot. There just has to be a sign somewhere telling them where to go. So if you could take care of that for me I'd really appreciate it. Thanks so much! I have to tell you that the town is packed for the first time this summer and has been all this week and is going to be packed next week as well, but then it starts to fall off. So if you want to come down for a visit...come in a couple of weeks. The air is still wonderful, no humidity, no rain, sun during the day, the water is trying to heat up, but it's having a tough go with the winds earlier churning the cold water off the bottom and bringing it to the top, but in a couple of weeks it will be warmer. Are you watching the Olympics? Try to put the politics aside and concentrate on the youth of America who is over there competing for our country. We are struggling to find things to be proud of...we certainly can't count on the politicians who have made a sport out of bedding women (you really don't want to get me started do you...John Edwards was the last straw for me)...and the young people in China fighting for medals is a source of pride for me. I'm watching things I would never watch normally, boxing, basketball, I'm seriously not an a sports fanatic, but I'm cheering these kids on as much as possible and taking pride when they win. We can fight over the social injustice in 4 weeks but for the olympics, lets cheer our athletes to victory. Did you see the opening ceremonies...although it's played about 3 times, I've missed everything but the last part where they light the torch...could you believe that guy suspended and running .... honestly they do put on a good show...expensive, but good. Well, I'm going to post since people are now in the shop asking if I'm ill. I am sick and tired of people peeing in the parking lot, but other than that I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. It's getting toward the end and we are all a little frazzled around the edges. Poor Sara is doing the work of 3 people and if we didn't keep her drinking booze I'm not sure she'd make it. But hand the girl a glass of vodka and she's good to go. Vernon on the other hand goes to sleep. But we can always count on Sara. Mary goes home everyday around 4:00 p.m. so that is why Sara is working so many hours. Gotta give the girl a spa break....or a Moss Creek break. We're counting the days. Our fall is going to be so busy...we have Jamboree the 2nd weekend in October, then we leave for the Moss Creek retreat and then we hoof it back for the C.A. Wells weekend, good Lord, I need a nap just saying it. Well stitchers, have a great evening...have fun stitching and I'll talk to you soon.

1 comment:

ebs said...

Amen - on it all - but mostly the man "issue" - xoxo e